Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"The Economy is Great" he said. "RUN" I shouted to the others!

What is my problem with the current administration, he asked. "The economy is great, the unemployment rate is low, things couldn't be better!" he said. I was dumbstruck. I wasn't sure what cave he had just emerged from. I wouldn't consider a budget deficit of 600 billion dollars to be a sign of a great economy, I answered. "That is nothing - not a problem" was his quick reply.

I had just confronted a giant-walleted neocon (Neoconus greediosis), and although I had survived the encounter, it left me shaken to my core. I knew in my heart that if there were many more like this out there, life as we know it could be in grave danger.

For those on the far right who do not believe in evolution, I offer up the neocon as proof that evolution does indeed happen. Evolved from early Republican man, the neocon has developed a vision deficit that sees only tax relief but which is no longer able to focus on a budget deficit. Its brain has evolved so that a bloated military budget no longer causes irritation to its conservative nerve roots. In fact, while its predecessors might have balked at nation-building and using the federal government to push its moral agenda on the entire world, the neocon is able to do so without even blinking an eye. Its tough skin is not penetrated by sharp words cast by the starving and homeless, and its heart has evolved to be steeled against hordes of children without access to healthcare - something which had been known to occasionally weaken the heart of its predecessor, Republican man. Indeed, Neoconus greediosis is a model of adaptation for not just survival but for domination.

The neocons narrowed visual field enables it to travel with herds of pro-life creatures and yet still kill thousands without seeing any hypocrisy. It thinks nothing of visiting tropical Florida to protect the brain-dead and yet ignores those facing death because they have no health insurance. Fortunately, the neocon has evolved so that it cannot see its own reflection in the mirror. And it truly believes that the economy is great because it cannot count below $200,000. When it counts the economy above $200,000 yearly income, all it can see is colored green.

And the most amazing skill that has evolved with the neocon to help him survive is that he can smell creatures that earn less than $200,000 per year, and he gains nourishment by sucking their blood. Although early neocons were crude in their blood-sucking skills, the later-day neocon has evolved with the ability to suck the lifeblood from others with subtlety while his victims are lulled off to sleep by his soft-toned reassurances. "The rising tide raises all boats" he whispers into their ears. Every day his victims are a little weakened, but have no recollection of what happened to them.

That is the truly scary thing about the Neoconus greediosis – this specie could take over the country not with a bang but a whimper. I can only hope that I personally survive to see the day when they no longer have enough victims upon which to feed and must begin eating their young and feeding upon themselves.


Terry said...

I was very interested to hear that I was going to get a stimulus check after all the news about how in debt America is. The dollar continues to slip in the world markets and the government has enough money to send us all a huge rebate. Ok...

President Bush (which he should be addressed by since he IS the President regardless of anyones feeling for him) thinks that Americans are going to take that rebate money and spend it which will help the economy. I think his economic advisors are dead wrong. With the current state of the economy most Americans are going to cash that check and hide all that cash in their pillow case so they have money for food in the upcoming recession/depression. Not much of that money is going to be put back into the economy, at least not right away, so it will do nothing to help.

The democrats are talking about ending the Iraq war and bringing all those troops home. This will result in a down sizing of our military which would then flood the market with a lot more workers trying to find a job. This will not help the economy either unless they are able to find a way to create a lot more jobs. This would mean raising taxes to pay for those jobs and would cause more distress.

Fixing Americas problems is not going to be easy and I know I sure do not have all the answers. I just hope whoever wins the upcoming election has a plan so that this country can go back to being the wonderful thing it once was.

Anonymous said...

Well said.